compare

during my trip, my plants not only have not died, but some have acquired scandalous proportions.
that goes with every aspect of what i`d left here, figurately of course: things have not disappeared when left alone. "things" and thoughts and patterns and gaps have grown and multiplied

so it`s been hard again to start this.
one week and a half after returning from romania, i kept comparing cluj and montreal, and my potential life-that-would-be in cluj with what i have here. all based on the fact that i guess heat dissolves people`s minds. based on, i don`t know: how i saw cluj over 5 days: small, calm, picturesque, prosperous. based on the fact that back there i had dates with 5 people per day. anyway. it`s not a workable comparison, and i do know it.
other possible formulations:
-if montreal were in europe
-if i had friends in montreal
-if i had friends in montreal with interests similar to mine
-if i had more money in montreal so i could buy myself a better lifestyle
-if i had more money in montreal so i could travel away from montreal
...then i wouldn`t be plagued by the need to compare.
this comparing thing is really justifying, defending myself (against myself?) for a decision i made. so i am weak and indefinite and don`t exist in much these days, but this decision has been made. and so i was defending montreal again. how long will this take?

just my usual method of walking around did produce some images, but it was a poor trickle at first

this, on st-denis going up to duluth (for my test in spanish btw)

and this back alley where i sat with melanie drinking bottled water . i discovered one more thing that they don`t have in cluj: two squirrels chasing each other in full view for half an hour.
(mel: "do you think we`re selling ourselves short hanging out in this back alley? there`s so much to see around here and summer`s almost gone."
no, we`re never ever selling ourselves short ok)

here i decided to go the tourist route so i spent one evening wandering around the old port (where i hadn`t been in months and definitely not yet this summer) trying to see the city like a tourist would. which is again impossible i guess. i don`t like tourist throngs (snobby) but i adore crowds, so that was satisfying. montreal, as opposed to cluj, is a place where people actually come in great droves to do tourism, with specific points on the to-do list. place jacques cartier in early evening was swarming with....souvenir-selling, portraits, overexpensive patios, caleches...nothing out of the ordinary. so. many. people.
then i bought an icecream and i sat in front of the notre-dame, at the maisonneuve statue. there were people taking photos (of course) and someone playing the violin in a corner. 

and this statue, part of a series that, now i`ve discovered it, think is very typical downtown montreal. tongue in cheek...i think it`s supposed to represent the anglo-franco mix, or non-mix, thereof. 

very many families with kids around too (where are they not?) so this topiary, beside being sweet, also feels appropriate. 

and i`m back in my neighbourhood. sunflower and a plant that looks like a climbing bean, in the little parklet by the swings. behind that, in the backyard of the next building, there are elderly gentlemen doing tai`chi moves sometimes. i sat here eating icecream too, but it was the HUGE creme molle from the cremerie by my house. it`s home.

coming back home after dark with laundry from the buanderie. church bells will toll here as in cluj, every sunday at 9, but no priests`voice from megaphones. 

at parc jean drapeau, on a swimming competition day. just hanging out by the waterside and getting sunburnt in tank-top pattern.

biosphere - hard to believe it`s real and so close

ok, trust me on this: ducks on the lake in parc jarry at night. (see their tiny light-eyes in the dark?)
listen: there`s nothing that compares to this. ever.

and the swings. coming to swing and finding all taken. this is my revenge, i.e. adult behaviour.

i smiled reading this and until the end i truly believed this was an adult that had lost her doll. (then i saw the tiny hand in the picture, okay.) i have a doll that`s precious to me, though i wouldn`t take her out. would i advertise if i lost it though? that means exposing your vulnerability on all the trees in the neighbourhood.

confusion is a vast, all-encompassing realm

everyone who has at least heard bedbug horror stories will appreciate this. 

always in my walks i pass by castelnau to see how the sidewalk garden is doing

this, in a schoolyard, is a gathering of old people doing dances. even hearing the soundtrack alone is joyful, but when i saw them in the process, my heart was filled with joy.

but how much longer can summer stay?